Quitting to win!

Its been 65 hours... God when am I gonna stop counting the no. of hours I havent smoked. Its the 3rd day of abstinence and boy am I finding it tough...If I continue like this I will become a Mahatma! Okay confession time...

I bought a ciggie at 10 pm yesterday and started feeling very guilty after about 4 drags, so threw it away. Ended up taking 2 more drags from a friends ciggie when I met him later last nite.. but he drank rum while I drank something called 'Summer Delite', a mocktail with one of those hats inside the glass for no reason. God was I embarassed when it arrived... the guys around looked at me... they must have thought I am gay or some kinda sissy! Par unn gadhon ko mere sacrifice ke baare mein kya pata?

Actually the 2 times I gave into temptation yesterday have made me realize that quitting smoking is not that big a deal... I didnt feel any different after taking those few drags... so am gonna resist the temptation better next time around...

But beleive you me everytime I feel the urge to smoke, its almost like a war between the 'good Bisu' and the 'devil Bisu'. I can hear 'devil Bisu' saying, "C'mon man, you can keep your goddamned resolution but how about just 3 drags, its okay man! It will feel soooo goooooood...." while 'good Bisu' is saying, "No Bissu, you are not touching that thing again. You promoised na?" I feel like Snowy in those Tintin comics with one 'Saint Snowy' and another 'Devil Snowy' standing over its head.

Sometimes I wonder why I am blogging all this, after all bloggers do look for readers and this is hardly what people wanna read about... but I am doing this for a different reason.. I wanna record my thoughts so that if I am to stray away from my resolve at any point of time... I have a place to come back to and understand where I had started and all that I had planned and resolved... and that probably will ashame me enough to fall back on track!

So just to remind myself once again...

No cigarettes
No alcoholic drinks
No carbonated drinks
No rice
No sweets/fatty stuff
No girls (until I find someone as good as 'the best gal in the world!')
And change your job soon!!!